Saturday, June 3, 2017

Song Review: Got7 - My Swagger


Well, it doesn't take a genius to figure out that this song is a wee bit harsh. There are so many fucking noises. It's almost like an electronica jigsaw is cutting quickly into your brain as you listen. Furthermore, it's kind of borderline-cheesy how a lot of the instrumental riffs are doubled in the vocals. Whoever produced is clearly an advocate of "more is better," (aren't they?), because they also managed to sync all of the rhythmic patterns in the instrumental to the vocals. Overkill? Maybe a little bit but k-pop isn't exactly known for being subtle. Anyways, I appreciate the effort that went into making this song both immaculately coordinated and still really grating at the same time. We really do need more things in k-pop that sound like they're gonna grind your outer ear into small pieces. No, I'm not joking.


Song Review: Astro - Baby


At first, I thought that the instrumental at the beginning of the vid was an intro for the real song. And then they started singing and dancing, and I was like "oh." That's all I have to say.

Thursday, May 25, 2017

Yoochun x Prostitute!Reader - A Bathroom Love Story

X-Reader
Smut
1239325098 words
[a/n: Reader is a prostitute working at a club. Her job is listed as ‘adult entertainer,’ but this is just a fairly thin veil to describe the true nature of her vocation]
[a/n For all the people who might come crying - this is your warning - if you're a kpop fan (and to an extent, if you're not), the context should be clear enough at this juncture.]

You inhale, club haze entering your lungs. You pull down your thin, red, miniminidress, and brush at the white stains that are probably never going to come off. There, now it covers my underwear.... if I stand upright. You sigh, it’s not really like anyone cares. All that matters is that you have the money to buy your clothes in the first place. 

CNBLUE's Between Us - Reviewed Late Because I'm too Lazy to Copy Paste From Word

CNBLUE’s Between Us or: Sonic Torture Personified – A Review

Yes, this is very late, but I still wish to document my opinion, simply for future review. As one may be able to surmise, my opinion is not positive. To help one understand why, I shall present an ordered list:

Tuesday, March 14, 2017

Song Review: Got7 - Never Ever


So, Thot7 are back with a new single, and probably the best way for me to express my feelings about it is through step-by-step reaction format. Therefore, I present to you: 

The Stages of Sweetune's Synthesizer Watching Never Ever by Got7



Sunday, January 15, 2017

MV Review: TopSecret - She


Let me begin by saying that you should not fap to TopSecret, as kpop fap is dirty and horrible. You are an unpure and shitty human being if you are remotely attracted to any of the people here. I am morally above you if you do so, can you see that?

Monday, January 9, 2017

Song Review: AOA - Excuse Me




AOA kicked off 2017 as the first girl group release of the year with double title tracks Bing Bing an Excuse Me: results may vary. I already covered Bing Bing (poorly, I'll admit - but shitty music gets shitty coverage), saving the obvious best for last.